It’s not hard to find a job in Macau these days, but it may be harder to find real success and fulfillment. Designer clothing, high tech gadgets and new cars only go so far in alleviating the stress and strain of our modern lives. If you are looking for true happiness, then you need to discover what really brings you satisfaction, and according to life coaches the answer to that question lies inside each one of us. A life coach won’t shout at you to run faster or jump higher, but they can help you take the first steps towards unleashing your true potential.
A Helping Hand
Life coaching can provide motivated people with a positive push in the right direction
“What do you want to be when you grow up?” The answer to this simple question we are all asked as children, is not as straightforward as it once seemed. People today move from job to job – and career to career – as never before. And it’s not just about the money; you may be surprised to know that cash isn’t at the top of the list when it comes to job satisfaction.
The average person can expect to change careers several times in their lifetime. For some, the pursuit of meaningful work is not a luxury but a way of life that many cannot do without – life is simply too short and full of possibilities to justify a job that doesn’t challenge, gratify or excite. If you once loved going to work but you no longer feel that way now, it could be time to find a career that will inspire you. Life coaching is a process that is designed to bridge the gap between where you currently are in your life, and level you really want to be.
“Coaching is a client driven partnership focused on creating positive change, expanding possibilities and – a very classic expression used with coaching – ‘unleashing potential’”, says Mary Ann Voli, Founding Director of the Hong Kong International Coaching Community.
Coaches can specialise in areas like relationships, careers or personal growth. They promise to motivate, offer support and help people decide which direction to take.
“Coaching is focused on the power of the client taking responsibility so its very solution oriented, future oriented, positive oriented”, explains Mary Ann. “We usually don’t talk about the past – that’s not interesting – what’s interesting is what you want, so it’s focused on the results, outcomes…There’s a lot of creating awareness of what might be stopping us from getting what we want”.
In a perfect world everyone could figure this out for themselves, but we live in such a complex world that most of us need all the help we can get.
“The first thing is to find out what the gap is – what is the difference between where the person is now and where they want to be”, explains Angela Spaxman, a career and executive coach from Hong Kong. “It could be that they want to feel more fulfilled maybe in their job, or they want to feel more excited, or that they want a different career, or it could be that they just want to be more successful in the one they have”, she reveals. Every successful athlete and performer today has a coach of some sort, so why not the rest of us? “That’s a common characteristic of my clients – they tend to be pretty motivated people, otherwise they wouldn’t bother to have a coach to help them move ahead!” laughs Angela. “My clients are international people… they have quite a broad perspective on the world. They are usually between 35 and 55. I help them make sound decisions about their careers.”
Life coaching should not be confused with therapy however. Therapists try to help people with emotional and psychological problems, while life coaches help motivated people improve their lives. A life coach is there to empower and support people to help them achieve consistent results in the most important areas of their lives.
“Coaching is not for when you have a problem, but for when you want to go from good to great. Or you feel that something is missing and just want to know what it is, and you go in search of what that is. It’s a very powerful process,” says Mary Ann Voli. During the coaching process people will gain clarity and confidence, coming to a clearer understanding about what they want out of life and what they need to do to get it.
“We simplify things down to one step at a time so that instead of being overwhelmed by a huge change, people can see what the next step is … It’s a long process”, says Angela. “There’s no formula for this – we invent it – the client and coach invent it together. Mainly them, with the coach as the support, getting to the bottom of things.” Life coaches are part of a growing profession. The Hong Kong International Coaching Community has 170 members, 140 of whom are actual coaches, and 30 to 40 who are interested in the world of coaching.
“HKICC is not only about career coaching”, explains Mary Ann. “We have life coaches, career coaches, executive coaches.” Once you’ve found a life coach, be prepared to open your mind and your wallet. A one-to-one session costs around HK$800 per hour upwards. They can be conducted either over-the-phone, via Skype, or in person. The skills and ideas you gain from your life coach may endure well beyond the paid coaching period, so you aren’t just paying for your time on the phone or for short-term benefits.
“Usually it takes 6 to 12 meetings. If people are making big changes it’s not uncommon that we would be working together for a year or even two years, and then we might speak every month or so to keep them moving along”, Angela says. “Usually we meet twice a month, or sometimes if we have 12 meetings, it might be twice a month at first, tailing off to once a month as things get more clear”.
Recently, the phenomenon of people leaving well-paid corporate jobs to become artists, chefs or entrepreneurs has become more common.
“Currently I have a couple of clients who are making really big career changes”, Angela reveals. “One of them is going from a corporate executive in finance with an accounting background, and she’s learning to be a songwriter and lyricist. The other is a corporate IT manager, and he’s starting a business inventing devices related to toy helicopters, selling them to the ‘do it yourself’ hobby industry”.
For these clients, it’s a long road to walk.
“The whole process of understanding ‘how’ is full of uncertainty; you don’t know if it will work out or not and that’s why its really helpful to have someone to work with because its so easy to give up”, Angela says. “For those people who keep going down that road of figuring out ‘how’, they’ll eventually come to a realization that they really can do it.”
Asking the coaches whether they have any advice to help people achieve happiness in their careers and lives, Mary Ann says: “It’s a question of understanding that we have choices and maybe we cannot influence what happens outside us, but we can definitely influence the way we react. By making choices and taking responsibility, we can move away from being a victim and understand what we can do to get to what we want”.
For Angela, it’s important to enjoy the process along the way. “It’s quite common for us to be annoyed and frustrated. With a long road to travel to where you want to go, there’s a lot of unnecessary pain. It’s better to start enjoying where you are, while also to keep going to where you want to be”.
Reinventing yourself is a difficult process, but perhaps the most important factor in successful life coaching is the willingness to change. For those ready to try life coaching, the new perspective it offers could make all the difference.
